how can a child help her family grow?

I ask this question from the perspective of a bred and born lifelong loyal but extremely frustrated US Catholic.
When does a church behave like a dysfunctional and codependent family and how can we help ourselves grow out of it?

Try - ?

1: behavior modification therapy

2: mindfulness meditation training (my choice)

3: put the whole family in jail (what does that really accomplish?)

4: deny there is anything wrong - after all, Jesus said "forgive them - they know not what they do"

5: defend them - they are doing the best they can.

6: start a massive emotional intelligence education program for everybody involved. (cool!)

7: nothing. God is in control. (I'm not trusting that answer anymore - that smells like abusive manipulation.)

and of course learn to see the face of God in everyone involved. (the most important transformation anyone can have - in my heartfelt and I hope truly humble experience)