reminder for my sagging memory

"If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud."

Emile Zola

I had this pinned to my drawing board when I was a late teenager. I wonder if I am? It is related to Gandhi's "Be the change you want to see in the world" and St Francis preaching "Go out to the world and spread the Gospel and use words if you must" (paraphrase).

I feel vulnerable when I admit I that I use words as a sign post rather than as a 5 page memo for others to understand where I am. The reality of living out loud doesn't seem so romantic now from hindsight. But it is rich in presence.

dyeing and printing fabric with 'eco dyes' from a beginner

I recently read India Flint's book Eco Colour and wanted to try something before the great freeze. This is my first large trial - an old cotton dish towel rolled around a copper pipe and a steel engine part (?) I also soaked some leaves in water first since they were a bit dry. There are a few smooshed rose hips and a few thin pieces of steel And a small piece of bark with fungi/lichen on it . Rolled it up tight and tied some wool yarn around the bundle and simmered it in vinegar water. Then left it outside to freeze for a week.

I'm looking forward to spring now --- it's addicting I suspect! Doesn't it look like a spine & hip xray?

the real vegetable pizza!

I'll bet I'm not the only one that made a pizza tonight that had a real vegetable on it! I looked at leftover delicata squash in my refrigerator and then glanced over to the garlic and chive cheese curds and an idea was born - a scathingly brilliant idea (well - sort of)  I mashed the squash with a little butter and added pepper and ground nutmeg. Then when the crust was baked I spread the mashed squash and added fried onions and the sliced cheese curds. It really was so good I forgot to take a picture until it was ..... (I make a small pizza) ....

it tastes better than it looks. Appearance needs tweaking --

winter arrives

snow falls falling softly with gravity

archetypes and ego oh my

wonderful quote from Mark Greene Adventure in Archetype: Depth Psychology and the Humanities

"Some researchers even suggest that our concepts of free-will and independent agency are but illusions designed to not bruise our fragile egos."

Doesn't that present a lovely challenge to our religious predicaments. We can't handle much reality.

Off to buy it (it's on Kindle) and read the whole thing since this quote is from the introduction which is freely available to view.

more hats

http://s258.photobucket.com/albums/hh271/prairiebutterfly/pseko%20designs%20knit%20hats/

Getting ready for the fall sales -- the one above is old but I have posted a link to my photobucket page showing more recent designs.  After I get another bushel of apples turned into juice it's back to 14 hours of knitting a day.

more on adult faith - or adult wisdom

"(a) Conventional inherited wisdom views all learning as passed down from wiser seniors to inferior juniors, and learning is primarily obtaining the wherewithal to function effectively for the benefit of human society.

(b) Embedded codependency leaves children and adolescents feeling like passive absorbers in conventional learning settings, while adult aspiration and intelligence are grossly neglected and undermined.

(c) Adult empowerment perceives the adult as a full participant in a coeducational process where wisdom is owned by all and the teacher serves as a catalyst facilitating a transformational process of exploration and new discovery.

Diarmuid O'Murchu in Adult Faith - Growing in Wisdom and Understanding pg. 97

I'd like to pass this around the US - schools, churches, and especially businesses. This doesn't mesh with our apparent frontier mentality - does it?

clean lungs

why do some Republicans vote against clean air regulations? Don't they have lungs? Don't they love a few people who might die from unclean air? Or don't they understand the physics of a closed ecosystem?

a woman's faith development

Wouldn't this be a strange yet terrifying adventure?

"Unlike the epic hero, however, the female protagonist does not know her own goal in advance and must discover it through fluid adventure - meditation, memory, prayer, questioning, and associative weavings. And unlike the epic hero, her role is not to support but unravel and rewrite the already-written drama or script of religion and history." (Slee 2004, 98)

quoted in Diarmuid O'Murchu's Adult Faith pg 113

but isn't there a better antonym for epic hero than female protagonist? I understand it has been said that women can't be classic heroes - that our task is different (remember Robert Grave's opinion that a woman can only be a muse and never a poet?) - where is the balance?

Paradox

Quote from Diarmuid O'Murchu -

"This is my favorite definition of a paradox : 'it is a contradiction, with meaning written underneath it.' "
in "Adult Faith" pg. 129

my own favorite definition has been "For what is balance but a complete contradiction" I wonder - there is acceptance involved in both definitions isn't there?

the reluctant dragon

http://windling.typepad.com/blog/2011/09/dealing-with-dragons.html#comments

I love this quote -- "Scared and sacred are spelled with the same letters. Awful proceeds from the same root word as awesome. Terrify and terrific. Every negative experience holds the seed of transformation."
  - Alan Cohen

as I wander down the paths of paradox

talking on

are you impatient
to hear someone
talk on and on and
on and on.....
because you want
to talk on and on
and on..... and can't?

an introvert
might enjoy
that scene.
to not talk on
and on...

commonplace

commonplace?

this is no
common place -
the wheels that turn
are grinding slowly
to a halt.
deep in muddy fields
with only
red wing blackbird
to console.

pseko - 1982 or so


composting reality - don't underestimate red wing blackbirds!

felting wool hats

I found a stash of clearance wool yarn at a local yarn store ( Hi Prairie Needles) and could afford to test some techniques and styles. Can I admit here that when the hats are freshly felted and rinsed in cold water that they are wonderful personal head air conditioners on these hot days ...

Volunteer violas

Just two of the hundreds of violas that self seeded this year.

unwritten perspective

"If we knew the unwritten story of our past, especially the prehistoric past, its fascination would cut the history of kings and queens, wars and parliaments, down to proper size."
                  - John McLeish

read in Diarmuid O'Murchu's book "Ancestral Grace"
I've read elsewhere about epigenetic stress - the stress that can be passed down in our genes after some horrific experience settling in us an unfocused sense of anxiety that doesn't seem to belong to us or the life around us. And Jung's collective unconciousness - and Teilhard de Chardin's noosphere - systems theory.

Are we catching up literally to our own reality? Isn't it fascinating?

Spring frittata when spring is actually here

violas and peeled asparagus and chives
maybe spring is here - just in time for summer :-)

and the peonies are blooming

Graciousness

Old fashioned virtue?
Since I was a very young girl I have admired graciousness. I don't think I knew what it was but I remember paying attention to the difference between grouchiness and graciousness. I did wonder later on if it was a character trait for nobility since it was often labeled that way.

Now in middle age I admire it even more. It shares space in a list that includes politeness. Very cheap insurance along the way to non violent being. Learned while contemplating the steps from reacting to responding during ordinary days. An antidote to snark/sarcasm.

Falstaff was my tutor      a thoughtful blog including thoughts on character

3D

Do you notice that you are seeing in 3 dimensions?

I'm housesitting for friends who live in the woods and as I was falling asleep my eyes faded into soft focus and at twilight my perception shifted and I saw the trees as I would looking through an old stereoscope.

Exquisite details - this is nowhere near the reality light wise

don't give up

I almost gave up on some  lily of the valley (lillies?)  but there is at least one flower growing.
nevah, nevah give up --

How to stop traffic in a small town

This weekend was the unveiling of an art project guided by clay artist Aldo Moroni. Four local schools were involved with students and some adults each building a clay tower. 750 towers! If we counted right... It was fun and hard work for the helping slaves(me included) but oh so worth it!

Thanks Aldo and Terry and Sharon and John and Dan.....and everyone else involved. I am healing today!

click on the pictures to enlarge them

Bolero?

Ha! one more felted wool hat -- floppy brim --

Northern States 2011 Easter Bonnet

Well - really! Easter is late and so is the snow... so I rethought my Easter Bonnet for this year.. actually the forecast for Sunday says 50's but the rest of this week the forecast is rain/snow mix.

wwgd?

The question what would Gandhi do - makes me ask myself what non violent act of civil disobedience would I do to keep my country honest? At least realistically honest? I can't answer that question and it bothers me. What would you do?

April Fool - winter's gone

(Late, yes - and old.)

Like an old man
He frets and prowls,
Hiding a heart
that gathers grace
 with age -
The cider-stock appearance
Confuses no one - after all
Should a man be worn
When body softens
and
Bite becomes a growl?

April 1, 1981

A minor tribute

Spring!     Tear apart the pristine cover that cold has allowed - creep forward into quiet corners - pounce on flyways my dear you can't hold back any longer your time is here again you are needed call the bloody rites to begin slash the quiet with song this season abides by your ruling and we listen and obey: what will you have us do?

Spring replies -

I rise one morning, gather my hair, and a sharp whistle calls- I raise one hand ; a grackle screams and the chorus begins. all things are under my power now, let others think that I am soft- today the renewal challenges all life to change. Men think renewal means the soul must change to better accept that god-in-print. Fools! you don't know him. He gives me leave to open cruel games. Oh, yes, the flowering is mine, but so is the new blood.

Impartial am I to life. I am no longer shy, so don't ever trifle with cliches that say I am a wise and comforting mother. HA! I crush impiety and cradle my following with a stained hand. Crystal eyes can blind, caves can be the only comfort for your eyes and my kin know that to see is not the happiest gift I give.

I have slept these white months, I am fresh and ready to terrify the uninitiate with our splendor .... don't get in my way....


March 1982 - not March 2011 when spring has been delayed by fresh snow.

Why

Why is unregulated capitalism thought to be a humane form of government?

Japan in need

and I continue my prayers of strength and stamina. Blessings be upon you all.

  (and to those killed or left homeless or injured by the tsunami in Chile)

microwave potato chips?

yes.

/http://www.foodgal.com/2010/01/microwave-potato-chips-really/

oh yes!  they were good.

thank you foodgal.

2 more questions

Will you promise to inform not entertain?
Will you encourage wisdom rather than keeping us ignorant and emotionally infantile?


The sad base of these questions for me - is - to whom am I asking these questions?

NBNS Greens political party

 Introducing a new US political party .. the NBNS Greens. The platform is shaky but the intentions are firm. We want to register a refresher course in thoughtful civility and trust. The main directions at this time would be to begin dialogue on the following topics.

Conservative yet ethical look at anti-trust and anti-monopoly corporate 'situations' in the US.

Repealing Citizens United and asking the Supreme Court why they tried to hoodwink us poor slobs.

USDA and FDA haste in approving certain products from a rather large monopoly.

House and Senate term limits and compensation limits (including lifelong healthcare).

Campaign contribution and campaign spending limits. Serious ones!

Recognition that this country is made up of a family of diverse values and diverse lifestyles.

That all citizens should have the right to be heard.

That the sanctity of the separation of church and state is upheld and why.

What really is the situation of US imperialistic capitalism abroad?

What is a fair first step toward humanizing health care?

We also wonder if it's time to challenge the intelligence and practicality of a two party system.

 Who we are:

we're thoughtful
pragmatic
extremely honest
cooperative not adversarial
running on human contributions with a dollar limit
and biodynamic greens along with humanely raised animals
also fueled by humanure, solar, wind and biodiesel (from used cooking oil of course)
curiosity and a love for life long learning.
and perhaps most importantly a willingness to leave our egos out of politics.

that beautiful evening blue

Leonardo evening trees line the sky
non perfect entities of dark
forming a horizon below the stars
a fence to support the sagging light

Portrait of an Artist

In
silence
he stands
pulling the
pale shadow
of desire lost
round his
shoulders sturdy.
He swiftly calls
calling home
the wayward smile.


for M.M. 1980

Time and speed

I've been obsessed by time and speed and the earth. Last night when I read about the latest earthquake in New Zealand I was paralyzed by sadness. I have written so many lighthearted poems about the power in this earth but this morning I am praying for safety for those in Christchurch and also for all who are bravely facing the dangers in standing up for freedom (not license). I am only one person with you in spirit but I think there are a multitude surrounding us.



so here is more - to remind me that the earth is amoral - and perceptively diverse.

once and only once

watching the
full moon set
what moves?
the earth or moon?
of course I know
they are both moving -
-but -
once I watched
and saw the earth
roll away from the moon.
I've never seen it
that way again.

Like my first view
of the Grand Canyon
when it stretched out
and in a split second
receded like a
retractable wash line
into a more humanly
comfortable scale.


I often mourned when I was young that I couldn't feel the real speed of the earth... after seeing the drawing of the Little Prince on his tiny guest home - his scarf flowing out behind him. Now I realize I do feel the real earth speed everyday but my brain restricts the scale.

a pavane to February thaw come and gone

This is my spring fever painting - I look at it every year early on as my sap starts rising (!) The last week has been over freezing and I acclimated to warmth (well - oop nort warm - 40'sF) and today the wind hurt as the temp plunged back to normal (9F). sigh. almost -- but it was too early anyway.

I call it Indignatius changing color.

felted hat - unknown style

I just finished this hat last night and I like it even though it's a bit large. This was Hubro (from Norway) wool in chunky weight. I love the look with the scarf!

how healthy can a pizza be?

I am trying to live without dairy products but pizza without cheese, while edible and even tasty, isn't pizza. So - for the last few months I've been experimenting. Tonight's blend is ; from the bottom -- bread dough that I keep in the refrigerator - www.artisanbreadinfive.com   - unsalted tomato paste mixed with a tablespoon of smokey salsa and olive oil and Italian herb mix (pasta sprinkles from Penzeys) - one small bit of leek sliced thin -- one leftover boiled fingerling potato - 3 green olives sliced thin - one slice of leftover fried cherry smoked bacon in small dices - two roma style green beans sliced .. and finally one stick of string cheese pulled apart into very thin triangles.

I prebake the crust on a preheated pizza pan at 475F for 15 minutes ... then add the toppings - put the pizza back in the oven and turn off the heat. 10 minutes to delight.

The pizza is about 4" x 8" - and is about 2 normal slices? I find it just enough for a meal. The beans and potato make it very filling.

Felted cloche

A tipping point?

Bless you Egypt for showing us that bully politics can be countered. Could it be the beginning of the end for bullies everywhere? Are the *children* growing up and demanding respect?

This is exciting and inciteful!

inspirational erroneous perceptionitis

Since bearing is
not always an
indication of face-
and the look
one receives is
rarely in time
with the heart
(or in control);
the matter upheld
in the eyes of
a poet is changed
in the sense
of proportion
to allow for
inspirational error!


November 9-1979
Royal Winter Fair

I wonder....

Who is more dangerous to the world at large.

Monsanto or Al-Qaeda? 

This was asked by a poster who signed a petition at  http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/bring-down-monsanto-monopoly/

what do you think?

A Prologue

Raise a cold winter morning.
Awaken to frost in the bones-
The sleep destroying chill
that drives the mind awake
with the need to provide warmth.

Once the fire is lit and bones
are warm, the mind calms
and other duties are recalled.
So - we fall asleep -
forgetting all traces of a
well-tuned need to take care
of ourselves and no other.

Later, with light, we rejoin
the world, satisfied to rise
in warmth and dull thoughts
of unconscious competence.
but - oh! for an instant-
we were a primitive!

Jan 1981
published winter 82
periodically Alive

it was one of those mornings today. I recall the original when I was up and in the kitchen making breakfast before i looked at the clock and saw that it was only 3 a.m.  -20F something and blowing.

Out of the Silent Planet

Is it only extreme existential loneliness to be rereading C.S. Lewis's fine book "Out of the Silent Planet" and wonder about the hrossa (non human but sentient and talkative beings) and wonder at the possibilities of knowing other sentient beings on Earth in the same way?  What if! oh what if!

desire for the day

may all beings know kindness

social etiquette failings :-(

So - the suggestion is to never talk about yourself in a conversation - always get the other person to open up about themselves.

Have you listened to what gymnastics that entails?? (insert imaginative scenario)


 in any case. freedom of speech is a fragile gift isn't it. no matter where it leads.

perhaps we should encourage one another to speak freely and calmly so we don't have to burst when we think we aren't being heard.

another snow bonnet but..

I got carried away - it's much bigger than it looks!

 

 

snow by lamplight

Have you ever
watched snow
(the fine dry snow
of sub-zero nights)
fall through the light
of a street lamp?


Shards of mercury-
minute burn holes
from a 16mm
black and white film-

brilliant thoughts
in an otherwise
mediocre and
empty mind.

still.  beauty.